Natalia is almost always present at Rodi and Aya’s workshops. She is very quiet, sits bolt upright and looks straight ahead with focus. She looks very beautiful with her long, honey-blonde curls – and very unapproachable. A highly concentrated, well-trained yogi.
Later I lived next door to Natalia, we shared a balcony, kitchen and 2 kittens. At the end of our time together, she laughed and talked a lot. I was surprised myself that it was so different at the beginning. Nevertheless, she is still very much in her own world. She comes across as aloof and dismissive sometimes. Doesn’t answer at all or only briefly. I was able to practise not taking it personally. Thank you!
I really admire how courageously and consistently Natalia releases her deep-seated, blocked emotions. What she hasn’t done to heal herself. And she doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything that comes up. And indeed – it heals her. Hats off to her!
Her lesson for me: All feelings are allowed to be and want to be felt. Otherwise, emotions that are not felt only block the life energy.
Natalia’s and Rodi’s special bond
You and Rodi share a special story. Your parents met on their wedding day. They got married on the same day in the same church, without knowing each other beforehand! Later, the factory they worked for even provided them with apartments next door to each other in the same building. And as if that wasn’t fate enough, you were both born on the same day (Author’s note: But not in the same year, Natalia is 4 years older). What is Rodi to you: a sister, a friend, an inspiration?
She is all that for me and more. Sometimes I even feel like her mother or grandmother. We have a spiritual connection that goes deeper than this life. I have never found a name for it. There should be a new word for it, but I don’t know of one.
Traveling is about growth.
Who started traveling first?
Actually, we both had the wanderlust bug since forever. It must be in our family history. As a child and even later as a young adult, I moved around a lot – to Italy and back to Moldova. I felt almost like a hermit, to be honest.
The energy in the world has changed. For a long time, most people lived unconsciously. But now the wave of consciousness is reaching more and more people. And it’s contagious. People are starting to understand that they don’t have to live in pain and suffering any longer. They don’t have to live without the beauty of life any longer. Traveling is a way to experience it and grow as a person.
My grandma has a witch soul.
You are on a healing journey. What needed healing in the first place?
My family tree needed healing. My ancestors never learned to process their emotions. They just bottled them up and struggled with them their whole lives.
My mom lived with a lot of unresolved pain and a disconnect from her emotions. She was very religious, but it didn’t bring her happiness. It felt more like a cage that kept her trapped. She never talked about her struggles, and there seemed to be no answers for her. It felt like life just dealt a bad hand. (Author’s note: Natalia’s mom took her own life seven years ago.)
Through my travels, I hoped to heal the wounds passed down through my family. Not everyone needs healing, though. My grandma, for example, has a deep connection to nature and wisdom. She has a witch soul in the best way possible! I learned so much from her and still turn to her for guidance.
My parents severed that connection and moved to the city. They battled each other and life in general for a long time. They were lost for a while.
Why did you feel the need to heal them?
For most of my life, I didn’t know who I was. I judged everything and everyone. But through my family, I’ve learned a lot and had incredible experiences. That’s how I began my own healing journey, and in a way, helped heal my ancestors too.
When I look at my hands, I see my mom’s hands. My body is blessed. I can experience life, nature, and all elements with it. Sometimes when I feel the wind on my skin it makes me so happy. I’m grateful to my parents for the gift of life.
How are you healing?
I integrate everything: the pain, all emotions. When I’m in pain, I’m a different person. I don’t want to suppress this part of me.
Which part?
The suffering.
It’s like fruits. Pain tastes different from joy. But I want it anyway. We need all the tastes.
Why?
It’s part of life. It’s like fruits. Pain tastes different from joy. But I want it anyway. We need all the tastes. In my culture, people are scared of feeling suffering or pain. They run from it and from themselves. They become sick, drunk, and drugged. (Author’s note: In my culture, too…)
I understood very early that there is something wrong with this thinking. And so I started to travel. I’m still on my healing journey. I’m learning to accept and embrace all parts of myself, including the pain. I’m grateful for the experiences that have shaped me, and I’m committed to continuing to heal myself and my ancestors.
What happened on your healing journey?
Born with breathing difficulties, I instilled worry in my parents. They feared that I would die in my sleep. Breathing problems often symbolize a lack of something in life, and I’ve embarked on a journey to discover what that is for me.
Breathwork workshops have become a significant part of my healing process. I might even become a facilitator myself next year. Every day brings opportunities for growth.
These sessions have allowed me to process a range of emotions. Now, I can access different states of being: a playful child, a wise elder woman existing in her own world, or simply someone receptive to messages from the universe.
I once harbored a fear of hurting others through my very presence.
I stopped breathing because I didn’t want to hurt anybody with my ego.
Why were you afraid of hurting others?
My upbringing fostered a strong ego. During a retreat in South America, I experienced a profound moment of connection. I saw the energy that binds us all, like luminous mushrooms beneath the earth. In that overwhelming realization, I stopped breathing, fearing I might harm someone with my ego. Holding my breath triggered a shift in consciousness. I grasped the concept that even subtle vibrations could potentially harm others. This led to shallow breathing, a disconnection from my heart, and a perceived rapid aging. While I yearn for my youthful energy, this new understanding allows me to truly appreciate life.
The loss of my mother also played a part in my struggles.
India became a turning point for my breath healing journey. I released a tremendous amount of anger, reaching a point of self-harm. This intense anger stemmed from stored trauma, specifically a past experience of sexual abuse. Once I acknowledged and released that trauma, the anger dissipated.
It took a grueling eight years to work through just that one emotion – anger.
That went really well, didn’t it?
Yes, that went really well! I feel more free now. I still struggle with my body, but I can heal it slowly and gently, not at full power and not at once.
The universe teaches us that we don’t need to see the entire path, just have a clear vision of who we want to be.
How do you finance your travels?
Financing my travels can be challenging because I want to fully experience and enjoy them. Before India, I never considered becoming a facilitator. I work in Europe for a few months at a time, for example as a pastry chef, to fund my travels. Ideally, I’d like to fully embrace my calling as a plant and herb expert. I’m incredibly grateful for this gift and envision leading tea ceremonies and workshops back in Moldova. Though my destination remains uncertain, my purpose is clear. The universe will guide my path. I refuse to limit possibilities, just like coming to India – something I never anticipated, but has become an incredibly rewarding experience. The universe teaches us that we don’t need to see the entire path, just have a clear vision of who we want to be.
What are your dreams for the future?
My wish for humanity is freedom from struggle. As for me, I’m incredibly happy with who I am and what I’m doing in this moment. Ten years ago, I was consumed by challenges. Now, I experience a wider range of emotions, and I embrace them all. Interestingly, the desire to become a mother, beyond being a cat mama (Author’s note: We have two kittens!), is a newfound aspiration.
I’m building a community in Moldova, and there are already some people working on it with me. It’s a vision that already exists in the world: a wise community of international people who want to preserve seeds. That’s the core of it all: the seeds of how we live, being conscious about the earth’s magic and the magic of plants themselves. It’s about simply existing and finding joy in just being.
